In the Jungle...

This afternoon began with an appointment at the vet’s office. Today was a special day; it was the first time I took both Capi and Roxie on the same day. I knew it would be an entertaining experience; I just didn’t know how entertaining. I began the animal round-up by leading Capi into the pet carrier. Then to her unexpected despair, I lock the door behind her. She usually likes it in the carrier because it’s cozy and dark. However, she hates it when the door is closed. She likes to know that she can come and go as she pleases. Once that door closes, she panics, bangs on the door, and meows like there’s no tomorrow. You’d think that she was trapped in a dungeon with the largest, meanest dog in the world. Poor thing never saw it coming.

Next, I send Roxie outside to go potty. She races back in, tail wagging with excitement; because she knows she gets a treat. As I distract her with that treat, I slyly reach up and grab her leash off the table and hook her up before she has a second to run. You could see the fear on poor Roxie’s face, as she looked up with those big brown eyes that seemed to say, Why Mama, why? Generally, my animals take off and run at any sign of trouble. You can find them under the bed, under the couch, or crouched down in a dark corner somewhere. I’ve learned a few tricks over the years due to all of the scratches, bites, fierce hisses, and hostile snaps I’ve incurred. You can’t blame them; they’re homebodies like their Mama.

I grab up my stuff in my left hand with the handle of Roxie’s leash around that wrist. Then, I pick up the pet carrier with my meowing cat in my right. It takes a while to get to the car because I have to put down and pick up the cat several times to complete the ‘leaving the house’ tasks, like locking and shutting the door. Finally, everybody’s in the car; the meowing cat’s in the backseat of my two-door car, Roxie’s under (yes, under) the front passenger seat, and of course there’s me. I breathe a sigh of relief because getting the pets into the car is half the battle. I make my way to the vet’s office about 20 minutes away while listening to a meowing cat and checking the dog every couple of minutes to make sure she hasn’t strangled herself under the car seat.

Once we’ve made it there, I grab the dog’s leash before she has a chance to escape into the wild unknown. Then, I get the meowing cat out of the backseat, and together we all journey into the vet’s office. I put the cat down on a bench while I check us in. The cat weighs about 15 pounds with the carrier. Roxie goes over to the scale to be weighed, then pees all over it because the tech touched her. She’s very sensitive when she’s scared. Now that my child has shamed me, I apologize for her behavior. We are sent into one of the rooms; it’s just me, the cat in a box, and the scaredy-dog on a leash. For some reason their music is playing extremely loud, but luckily the cat stopped meowing, at least for now. The tech comes in to get the cat out of the carrier so she can be weighed; it’s like pulling teeth out of cement. Just visualize a serial killer pulling their latest victim through a door as the victim clinches the door with all four limbs.

The rest of the appointment is pretty normal, except for the panicked cat trying to escape and the scared dog trying to climb up onto my shoulder over and over. An exorbitant amount of money later, we’re on our way out into the monsoon that has so graciously passed over us today. I roll my eyes as the lady at the front desk tells me to, “Try and stay dry.” Really? Look at me. I brought the zoo with me. Am I gonna hold the umbrella in my mouth?

We make it to the car, and everyone and everything is gently tossed inside. The cat begins her frantic meowing, and the dog hysterically crawls under the front passenger seat. I take a second sigh of relief, because getting everyone back into the car is the other half of the battle. We journey back home in the same manner as before while the rain pours on. Once we get home, I let the dog go because I can trust her in our yard. I grab the carrier and all of our stuff and make a beeline for the front door because the torrential downpour is still in effect. The dog stares up at me with a hasty look on her face while the cat meows non-stop as I struggle to get the wet key into the wet doorknob. I frantically open the front door; the dog runs in, and I quickly release the cat.

Just as if nothing had ever happened, everyone is happy in their favorite spots; Capi’s on her pedestal, Roxie’s laid out on the back of the couch, and I’m propped up on the couch with a glass of tea.

Once again, all is well with the world…