In the Bag...

Today is grocery day. I hate grocery day, but at least it gets me out of the house. Grocery day begins on Thursday. I walk around with my pad and pen scribbling out the things I see we’re running low on. Laundry room…check! Kitchen and pantry…check! Bathroom…check! Then, I pull out my trusty coupon book full of perfectly clipped coupons that will save me $1.00 on this and 50 cents on that. I pull out the coupons that are relevant, and sometimes the coupons remind me of an item I forgot to put on my list.

So, now it’s Friday. After my typical morning routine, I get ready and run out the door with my reusable bags in hand. I started using reusable bags about a year ago. I was just throwing all the plastic bags into the trash anyway, which ultimately dooms them to an eternal life in the landfill amongst a bunch of nastiness. The occasional plastic bag that follows me home gets recycled now courtesy of my local grocery store! I drive the 20 minutes or so the store. Then, I drive round and round looking for a parking spot, dodging the cars parked in the way of traffic. Then, I finally get into the store and test out shopping carts. I mean nobody wants the one with the squeaky wheel or the one that veers to the left. Once you’ve selected that misfit cart, you’re stuck!

I journey down the aisles of dry goods first, excusing myself while others stare blankly at me as I pass by. Then, I jog past the employees offering me samples of food. It’s always hard to tell them you don’t want to buy the 5 lb bag of already seasoned fajita meat when they are so cheerful. Next, it’s on to the perishable items, such as produce, meats, and dairy. Did you ever realize the fresh items that we all should be consuming more of are on the outer aisles? I’ve been keeping away from most processed foods as much as possible. It’s part of my new healthy lifestyle, and it’s really not that bad! After a couple of months you won’t even miss that mac and cheese. If your food label sounds like a NASA experiment, you shouldn’t be eating it! Now that I’ve gathered all of my items, I journey to the front of the store where I’m confronted with the task of selecting one of the 4 open lanes in a sea of 20! Some thoughts that cross my mind:

• Which line is the shortest?
• How full is the last cart in the line?
• How old is the checker? (Too young and they’re rude, too old and they’re
slow.)
• Which line is closest to the door I need to exit from?

I make my selection and wait… Sure enough my instincts are wrong. Every other line is going faster than mine. (*pout*) After a few minutes, I’m up to the register and placing all of my items on the conveyor belt. I’m greeted…or not, rang up, asked for my coupons and my money, and then sent on my way (umm…kinda sounds like an illegal exchange if you know what I mean). I push my heavy cart to the car and unload everything into my trunk. I rejoice all the way to the house ‘cause I hate grocery day. I make it home, unload the groceries yet again, which usually takes about three trips as I fight off an extra enthusiastic dog. I unpack the bags, put the cold stuff in the fridge, and leave just about everything else on the counter. I’ll get to it later ‘cause I definitely deserve a glass of iced tea and a rest on the couch. And Justin wants to know what the big deal is…

Reasons Friday is Grocery Day:
• The shelves are stocked up for the weekend, so there is more food on the
shelves.
• The crowd is a lot smaller during the week, rather than the weekend.
• If you have a lot of food in the house over the weekend, you are less likely
to go out to eat (which is good for the waistline and the budget).

Highlights of Today’s Trip:
• There was a man and woman screaming and cursing at each other through rolled
down windows ‘cause the man was parked in the way of traffic. Yeah, he’s
annoying, but is it worth all that drama? I couldn’t help but laugh to
myself and shake my head as I walked through the parking lot into the store.
• As I was selecting my giant block of mozzarella, I heard an absurdly loud
gentleman with a backwards hat near the biscuits exclaim, “Wow, that’s a low
price‼‼”(as seen in the Staples commercials). I laughed out loud
along with most of the people in the area. It was even a hot topic in the
checkout line!

Next time you’re in the grocery store, I hope you think of me…