Day 316...

I have had quite the week of eye-openers. I've been seeing so many stories lately about people fighting for their lives, many of them young people. I just keep thinking that I don't have any problems compared to what they are going through. It's very humbling to think I have been blessed with good health and still find reasons to complain and new things to worry about. The good news is that I can shift my perspective pretty easily, so it doesn't take me long to get my mind right again.

Let's rewind to last Friday, weigh-in day. As I stepped on the scale, I envisioned a number, the number I wanted it to say, the number that would give me bragging rights of the perfectly even 50 pounds I am oh-so-close to losing. I wanted the scale to tell me that I had lost two pounds, just two pounds. As I slowly tilted my head down to look at that bright red number on the scale below me, my heart sank when I noticed that the number was higher than I envisioned, higher even than the last time I stepped on the scale. According to this scale, I had actually gained three pounds since my last weigh-in. I had to channel my girl, Lysa TerKeurst (author of Made to Crave) and tell myself that I had done nothing deserving of this weight gain. I had exercised and eaten well. I had absolutely nothing to feel bad about and no good explanation as to why it happened.

Sure, I was bummed. But, I went on about my day with the same attitude I would have if the scale had shown a smaller number. By the end of the  day I realized that God was trying to tell me something. I slipped. Just like I had in the past, I was making this journey about the number again. I put pressure on myself to hit a certain number. A few weeks ago, I shared with you guys that I made another goal for myself to lose a certain amount of weight by my one-year anniversary. I was putting pressure on myself to do more work than usual during the hardest time of year (the holidays). I was going against my own principles. The funny thing is I've done just fine without the numbers. I have not quit the journey yet. I've lost 48 pounds so far. I've lost more inches than I can count. I've gained bucketloads of wisdom. I've gained a spirit of happiness and a closer relationship with God. So, I am hereby renouncing my goal of losing a certain number of pounds by mid-January. I am going to continue to eat healthy and exercise, but I am also going to treat myself in moderation. Otherwise, I will drive myself crazy with deprivation, which always results in failure for me.

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, and I'm more aware than ever of my blessings and the wonderful things in my life. I have my moments and lose focus momentarily, but God always reins me back in. I am grateful for His love and his neverending forgiveness. Every single day I fall short of what He expects of me. Yet, He continues to bless me and bring me back down to earth so I can catch my breath before our next adventure.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him. (Psalm 28:7)